1. Why at least twice a week I get in my car and am informed via a monitoring system much smarter than I, that one of my tires is low.
A. But it is not always the same tire.
2. Why the automobile industry does not spend more resources on designing a way to keep snow from caving into your car when you open the window.
A. Yes, I know I should brush off the snow, but I have a very large car, and a relatively short attention span.
3. Why 3 days of above freezing temps and/or rain has diminished the amount of snow everywhere except the beach access paths.
A. Why I have had to wear boots every day for the last month.
B. Seriously, I have not worn shoes once since early January.
4. Why this Christmas tree has been on the beach for the last 10 days without washing away with the tide.
A. Why this full color picture appears to be black and white (this may have something to do with my self diagnosed seasonal affective disorder)
B. Why this tree which has been on the beach for the last 10 days has more pine needles than my tree had by the time Christmas Eve rolled around (next year I am going to try feeding my tree ocean water)
C. Why Con Comm did not stop this person from putting their tree in the ocean, but instead spends their time sabotaging my home addition.
5. How Milo can eat 2 to 3 times the recommended food allowance for his size and remain underweight.
A. This is possibly true of Tagg also, but I don't know what the recommended food allowance is for a 16 year old boy (yes, I realize this makes me a bad Mom)
B. It possibly has something to do with the fact that they both run at least 10 miles a day.
6. Why I volunteered to bake a wedding cake knowing everyone will think I did this 10 times a day in my life as a baker (I am possibly the only one here in my new area that knows I hired someone to do that).
A. Don't worry, I am not in charge of decorating the cake, whew!!!
B. Why bread bakers are so under appreciated in this world, and why everyone assumes if you are a baker you make beautiful cakes. We have feelings too, you know!
7. Why my oldest son is a professional journalist married to a smart woman, and yet I cannot stop thinking about someone trying to break into their apartment, and that they should really just move in with us.
8. Why my house is so small.
A. And dusty ALL THE TIME, even though I dust a lot.
B. Really!
C. And smells like a campfire (which for some inexplicable reason is one of the worst smells in the world to me)
C. And too quiet because my children keep moving away.
9. Why children grow up and move away.
That's all for now.
But not all, not even close!
For example:
10. Why I was called to be a cub scout leader when I have no experience with crazy 8 year old boys.
A. Really, I have 3 boys, and none of them were crazy. Also inexplicable.
B. And possibly related to my selective memory disorder.
p.s. Why Costco has the chemical fertilizer directly across the aisle from the organic chicken? This time I mean it. Really. WHY? I am going to require an answer on this one.
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