The events you are about to read actually occurred.
Dave is the king of online shopping.
Really. It's in his job description.
So, when we started shopping for a new insurance company in Massachusetts, it made sense to go with an online company.
Especially since we were living in Utah at the time.
We were wrong.
This real, live conversation actually occurred.
Today.
Prompted by a message Dave got saying our homeowners policy was being cancelled.
Prepare to be amazed. Or confused. Or, both.
Me: hi, I'm calling in response to notification that our policy is being cancelled.
Them: okay. Long pause.
Me: I'm wondering why.
Them: can you hold, please?
Me: yes.
Hold, hold, hold.
Them: do you live within 500 feet of the ocean front?
Me: yes.
Them: we can't insure homes on the waterfront.
Me: but we've always been on the waterfront.
Them: since you moved in in October?
Me: confused pause. Yes.
Them: okay. Can you hold please?
Me: yes.
Hold, hold, hold.
Them: you recently made changes to your policy to include new construction.
Me: yes. Last week.
Them: we can't support that change in your state.
Me: confused pause. But you didn't know that last week?
Them: no, we didn't. Would you like to talk to one of our in house agencies for a quote?
Me: really long, really confused pause. But you are canceling my policy.
Them: yes. But you could talk to one of our in house agencies to get a bid.
Me: who is canceling me?
Them: Ameriprise.
Me: who do you work for?
Them: Ameriprise.
Me: but you can give me a bid on a new policy?
Them: yes. Through one of our in house agencies.
Me: ummm. I don't think so.
The end.
Questions that come to mind:
Do some people move their home closer to the ocean front after they move in?
Does the ocean front move closer to some people's homes after they move in?
What the heck is an in house insurance company? And why didn't they insure me in the first place?
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